I’m getting close to finishing off the first draft of my book, and I’m putting some goofy images at the start of every major section, to lighten it up. I want this to be a laugh-out-loud Excel book: my goal with these images is to make some schmuck reading an Excel book snort out loud on the train during their commute, so that fellow commuters figure this is one sad individual.
In fact, I’m hoping more people will buy it “just for the pictures”, like my mother has promised to. Which is why I put an attractive picture of my wife and I on the cover:
So anyways, while I was putting some sample images and text together – all the while snorting out loud to myself at the endless possibilities for entertainment that random animal pictures combined with Excel witticisms provide – I thought why not get you lot in on some of the fun as well. And so I’ve cooked up a grand scheme: the great “Your Name Here” competition.
So here’s the deal: below are some of the sample images I’ve put together so far, using comp images I’ve downloaded from iStock. (I’m sure that my publisher Bill Jelen is going to choke on his morning podcast when he sees I’m serious about some of these).
Your mission – should you choose not to simply laugh it off – is to improve on these in some way if you dare. (I was going to say if you can, but I can tell by your face that you have innate comic ability).
By ‘improve on these in some way’, you’ve got two options:
- Come up with a better caption with your name in it; or
- Come up with a better image a better caption with your name in it.
Prize? Oh yeah…hmmm…okay, let me think. How about you get to win a copy of my as yet unfinished book. With that winning picture in it. And caption. With your name in the caption. Just your first name, mind, given that tens, possibly twenties of people will see your name next to some random monkey picture or whatever, and wonder what it means in terms of your Excel prowess. Can’t drag your good name down with mine, can we….
Couple of rules:
- If you just want to just submit a caption, don’t email it to me, but instead simply put it below in the comments along with the heading number and name its’ associated with, so we can all share your mirth right away. (You don’t have to put your email address in the comment, because this blog keeps track of your email when you post a comment, so I’ll be able to contact you if you have a winning entry).
- If you want to provide a different image as well as a caption, feel free. But images must be sourced from istockphoto.com and furthermore must have an aspect ratio along the lines of these ones i.e. wider than they are tall. where it’s wider than it is tall, like the samples below, so they will fit where I plan to put them in the book. (If you find a goodie that’s the other way around you may be able to crop it accordingly). Also, if providing an image, make sure it’s of an animal – the wilder the better – so that it fits with the general theme of the other pictures I’ll be using in the book.iStock is pretty easy to use, just type ‘Animals’ or what-not in the big search box on the home page, and when you get to the search page, refine it further by unchecking illustrations, video, and audio options:
- If providing an image, email it to me at excelforsuperheroes@gmail.com
- Entries close at the end of this Month (March 2015), and I’ll endeavor to review submissions and get back with some winners and honorable mentions within a fortnight after that.
Have fun, people.
Here’s my sample images, with placeholder text/names. But first, a disclaimer
Disclaimer
All physical characteristics appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real MVPs, past or future, is purely coincidental.
1. Chris
2. Rob
3. Ken
4. Oz
5. Jon
6. Doug
7. Ian
8. Deb
9. Dick
10.Mike
